Back again!!!
Good morning! It's nice to be back. First of all, I must apologize for having you all add me to your feed readers, only to change my blog address on you. My address is now http://www.quietude.blogspot.com/ Makes a little more sense than the old "bitter gamer" one, no? If you have always wondered, the bitter gamer is my brother, who gave me some webspace years ago. When I first started my blog, I didn't really have plans of making it public, and so didn't worry about the address. However, I eventually got me some visitors, and then when people started asking me for my blog address in real life, I realized how bizarre it sounded. :-P I am just now getting around to changing it, since Blogger has disabled FTP support. I also felt it was time for something a little less "blah" than the white Blogger template. Hope you like it! I think it says, very firmly, that this is a Woman's Blog. Now, if you've been reading Quietude for a while, you probably noticed that I began to gradually lose my blogging steam in the months after my marriage. I eventually got to the point where I was just "guilt-blogging," which is not fun for me or for you. When I first started my blog, I hoped to use it as a chronicle of the quiet joys and beauties of day to day life. Somehow along the way, I veered away from that. Now I am hoping to recapture that first purpose, but also expand and shift my blogging topics to reflect the season of life I am in. My "hobby" interests currently take a back-burner to the more important tasks of being the best wife and mother that I can be, so it may be that I will not have as many posts on vintage clothes, sewing, books, etc. But, I pray that I can find beauty and joy in the humble task of serving those I love best, and share that with you!
I'm back! I enjoyed my break from blogging but I'm glad to be back to posting. First of all, I must apologize for having you add me to your feed reader, only to change my address on you! My new blog address is now http://www.quietudeblog.blogspot.com/ Blogger discontinued FTP support recently and it seemed like a good time to switch over to a new address; one that fits my blog a little better than the old one. ;-) (If you have always wondered, the bitter gamer is my brother, who gave me some webspace years ago. When I first started my blog, I didn't really have plans of making it public, and so didn't worry about the address. However, I eventually got me some visitors, and then when people started asking me for my blog address in real life, I realized how bizarre it sounded. But I haven't gotten around to changing it 'til now!)
For the time being I will leave the archives up here, but all new posts will be at my new address. So please update your links, feed readers, etc. to point to http://www.quietudeblog.blogspot.com/ See you over there!
posted by Laura at 10:30 PM
Sunday, April 22, 2007
A favorite passage
[Catherine is dancing with Henry Tilney, but is interrupted when John Thorpe speaks to her.]
"Her partner [Mr. Tilney] now drew near, and said, "That gentleman would have put me out of patience, had he stayed with you half a minute longer. He has no business to withdraw the attention of my partner from me. We have entered into a contract of mutual agreeableness for the space of an evening, and all our agreeableness belongs solely to each other for that time. Nobody can fasten themselves on the notice of one, without injuring the rights of the other. I consider a country-dance as an emblem of marriage. Fidelity and complaisance are the principal duties of both; and those men who do not choose to dance or marry themselves, have no business with the partners or wives of their neighbours.'
'But they are such very different things!'
' -- That you think they cannot be compared together.'
'To be sure not. People that marry can never part, but must go and keep house together. People that dance only stand opposite each other in a long room for half an hour.'
'And such is your definition of matrimony and dancing. Taken in that light certainly, their resemblance is not striking; but I think I could place them in such a view. You will allow, that in both, man has the advantage of choice, woman only the power of refusal; that in both, it is an engagement between man and woman, formed for the advantage of each; and that when once entered into, they belong exclusively to each other till the moment of its dissolution; that it is their duty, each to endeavour to give the other no cause for wishing that he or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere, and their best interest to keep their own imaginations from wandering towards the perfections of their neighbours, or fancying that they should have been better off with anyone else. You will allow all this?'
'Yes, to be sure, as you state it, all this sounds very well; but still they are so very different. I cannot look upon them at all in the same light, nor think the same duties belong to them.'
'In one respect, there certainly is a difference. In marriage, the man is supposed to provide for the support of the woman, the woman to make the home agreeable to the man; he is to purvey, and she is to smile. But in dancing, their duties are exactly changed; the agreeableness, the compliance are expected from him, while she furnishes the fan and the lavender water. That, I suppose, was the difference of duties which struck you, as rendering the conditions incapable of comparison.'
'No, indeed, I never thought of that.'
'Then I am quite at a loss. One thing, however, I must observe. This disposition on your side is rather alarming. You totally disallow any similarity in the obligations; and may I not thence infer that your notions of the duties of the dancing state are not so strict as your partner might wish? Have I not reason to fear that if the gentleman who spoke to you just now were to return, or if any other gentleman were to address you, there would be nothing to restrain you from conversing with him as long as you chose?'
'Mr. Thorpe is such a very particular friend of my brother's, that if he talks to me, I must talk to him again; but there are hardly three young men in the room besides him that I have any acquaintance with.'
'And is that to be my only security? Alas, alas!'
'Nay, I am sure you cannot have a better; for if I do not know anybody, it is impossible for me to talk to them; and, besides, I do not want to talk to anybody.'
'Now you have given me a security worth having; and I shall proceed with courage.'"
--Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, first published 1818
"Her partner [Mr. Tilney] now drew near, and said, "That gentleman would have put me out of patience, had he stayed with you half a minute longer. He has no business to withdraw the attention of my partner from me. We have entered into a contract of mutual agreeableness for the space of an evening, and all our agreeableness belongs solely to each other for that time. Nobody can fasten themselves on the notice of one, without injuring the rights of the other. I consider a country-dance as an emblem of marriage. Fidelity and complaisance are the principal duties of both; and those men who do not choose to dance or marry themselves, have no business with the partners or wives of their neighbours.'
'But they are such very different things!'
' -- That you think they cannot be compared together.'
'To be sure not. People that marry can never part, but must go and keep house together. People that dance only stand opposite each other in a long room for half an hour.'
'And such is your definition of matrimony and dancing. Taken in that light certainly, their resemblance is not striking; but I think I could place them in such a view. You will allow, that in both, man has the advantage of choice, woman only the power of refusal; that in both, it is an engagement between man and woman, formed for the advantage of each; and that when once entered into, they belong exclusively to each other till the moment of its dissolution; that it is their duty, each to endeavour to give the other no cause for wishing that he or she had bestowed themselves elsewhere, and their best interest to keep their own imaginations from wandering towards the perfections of their neighbours, or fancying that they should have been better off with anyone else. You will allow all this?'
'Yes, to be sure, as you state it, all this sounds very well; but still they are so very different. I cannot look upon them at all in the same light, nor think the same duties belong to them.'
'In one respect, there certainly is a difference. In marriage, the man is supposed to provide for the support of the woman, the woman to make the home agreeable to the man; he is to purvey, and she is to smile. But in dancing, their duties are exactly changed; the agreeableness, the compliance are expected from him, while she furnishes the fan and the lavender water. That, I suppose, was the difference of duties which struck you, as rendering the conditions incapable of comparison.'
'No, indeed, I never thought of that.'
'Then I am quite at a loss. One thing, however, I must observe. This disposition on your side is rather alarming. You totally disallow any similarity in the obligations; and may I not thence infer that your notions of the duties of the dancing state are not so strict as your partner might wish? Have I not reason to fear that if the gentleman who spoke to you just now were to return, or if any other gentleman were to address you, there would be nothing to restrain you from conversing with him as long as you chose?'
'Mr. Thorpe is such a very particular friend of my brother's, that if he talks to me, I must talk to him again; but there are hardly three young men in the room besides him that I have any acquaintance with.'
'And is that to be my only security? Alas, alas!'
'Nay, I am sure you cannot have a better; for if I do not know anybody, it is impossible for me to talk to them; and, besides, I do not want to talk to anybody.'
'Now you have given me a security worth having; and I shall proceed with courage.'"
--Northanger Abbey by Jane Austen, first published 1818
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11:03 PM
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